Leadership involves speaking and standing up for the truth, and truth produces conflict. Most of us prefer a life without conflict. Consequently, most of us avoid speaking, writing, or standing up for truth whenever possible. For years, I have searched for the answer to writing truth and managing the potential conflict that comes with it.
The answer came from David Brooks at a release event for his book The Road to Character. I submitted a question which the moderator chose to ask him: How do you handle criticism? His answer was personal as he described the negative emotional effects that reading comments had on him, and the lesson he learned that you should not read these comments for the sake of your own well-being. Going forward, I am going to take his advice, and perhaps you will as well.
Here is a truth that I am compelled to write today: In my many decades of life, I have never seen so many leaders who won’t lead. I understand why; the flow of criticism of leaders is 24/7 in all forms of media, and we have more forms of media than any other time in history. Yet when we take a closer look at society, it is the small minority who spew their vitriol with destructive intent.
This is of particular importance to me because something essential for the life of every organization I am involved with—especially the church—is the development of leaders. While I find a large number of people who are willing to be leaders, I find far fewer who will actually lead. I understand their fear because I feel it myself. And yet, if we believe in the causes for which we live and intend to live lives of purpose, then we must become leaders. But we must not just be leaders—we must become leaders who lead.
“In my many decades of life, I have never seen so many leaders who won’t lead.”
So, I went in exploration of an answer for why we become leaders or are placed in positions of leadership but refuse to lead. I found those answers in a man named Lot.
Lot saw courageous leadership firsthand in his uncle Abraham, who was a great spiritual leader. The Bible calls Lot a “righteous man,” (2 Peter 2:7-9 NIV). He was often distressed and even tormented by the evil he saw around him. Today, many of us feel the same.
But Lot was conflicted; even though he was a good man who held a position of leadership, he did not have the courage inside to lead. His story is instructive for any of us who want to stand up for the truth and lead others to do the same. It teaches us to strengthen ourselves internally by personally following God. As we follow him rather than people, we develop the conviction and courage necessary to truly lead.
The heart to follow: Why letting others lead is spiritual
And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram’s wife; and they went out together from Ur of the Chaldeans in order to go to the land of Canaan; and they came as far as Haran and settled there. [32] And the days of Terah were 205 years; and Terah died in Haran.
Genesis 11:31-32 LSB
Lot possessed the heart and talent for following. His story begins with him following his grandfather. He didn’t get a vote nor did he express a desire to march to the beat of his own drum.
The best leaders are always those who have learned to follow. Many leaders struggle, both privately and publicly, because they have spent too little time following, and I would include myself in that list. In my case, it took time. I would follow, then lead, fail, and the cycle would repeat. I spent my high school years on the bench, and a lot of the years after that following people when I wanted to lead. It has taken decades to see how much that saved me.
Once Lot’s grandfather, Terah, passed away, Lot kept following. This time he followed his uncle Abram (who would later be known as Abraham).
So Abram went forth as Yahweh had spoken to him; and Lot went with him. Now Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. [5] So Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son, and all their possessions which they had accumulated, and the persons which they had acquired in Haran, and they departed to go forth to the land of Canaan; thus they came to the land of Canaan.
Genesis 12:4-5 LSB
So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him. [2] Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver and in gold.
Genesis 13:1-2 LSB
Abram had also learned to follow. He had followed his father, Terah, and eventually learned to follow God. Abram’s relationship with God was powerful; he walked with God wherever God told him to go. He was growing and going where God led him. Abram had a wife and an abundance of possessions. He also had a faithful follower in Lot, who without question was an asset to and relationship for Abram, which is why Abram brought him along.
When Abram went into an unfamiliar land called Egypt to get away from a famine and other troubles, Lot was right alongside him, participating in the abundant blessing God was giving Abram.
Abram heard from God. Abram had the calling. Abram had the destination. Lot went with him.
There is nothing wrong with following someone with spiritual conviction. We need people like that to grow. The danger comes when following someone else’s convictions becomes a substitute for developing our own.
And notice: following Abram was comfortable. It led to promise, protection, and prosperity. Lot had learned to follow men—in this case Abram, a man who followed God. The question is whether or not Lot had learned to follow God himself.
Most people who become leaders but fail to lead lack the interior life and personal relationship with God to lead others. They hold the position but lack the conviction necessary to produce courage, which is essential for any leader at any level.
The conviction to lead: Why following men is not the same as following God
Now Lot, who was going with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. [6] And the land could not sustain them while living together, for their possessions were so abundant that they were not able to live together.
Genesis 13:5-6 LSB
Following was working out perfectly for Lot until he became as successful as Abram. At that point there was strife between their herdsmen (vs.7). Abram proposed that they split up, not out of animosity, but the realization that it was time for Lot to lead his own life.
For the first time, Lot would be on his own. He had wealth, servants, family, and freedom.
But did he have conviction?
Personal conviction is not personal convenience.
Then Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere … [11] So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.
Genesis 13:10-11 LSB
Lot lifted up his eyes and chose what looked best to him. He made no attempt to ask God for guidance; he simply chose the most convenient path. While his choice was certainly understandable, it was not rooted in conviction that God would guide him in the best way to go. This is a conviction he would desperately need later on.
Personal conviction always starts with God.
And Yahweh said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, “Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; [15] for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your seed forever.”
Genesis 13:14-15 LSB
Lot looked, and chose what he saw. Abram waited, and God told him where to look. Abram’s conviction started with his trust in God. He relied on God’s words and God’s direction rather than what he saw. This is the crucial difference between following people and following God and the reason many of us fail to do it. Following God requires faith in something much greater than we could possibly imagine, while following people requires little faith.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
Position is not conviction: Why having leadership doesn’t make you a leader
Lot was barely on his own before disaster struck. War broke out in the region he had chosen to live, and eventually the victorious invaders captured him:
They also took Lot, Abram’s nephew, and his possessions and departed …
Genesis 14:12 LSB
So Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, and he led out his trained men, born in his house, 318 in number, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. [15] And he divided his men against them by night, he and his servants, and struck them and pursued them as far as Hobah, which is north of Damascus. [16] And he brought back all the possessions, and he also brought back his relative Lot with his possessions and also the women and the people.
Genesis 14:14-16 LSB
Abram didn’t hesitate. He took responsibility. He risked himself for someone else. He led. He compensated for the fact that Lot couldn’t protect himself and his family.
Lot was on his own as the leader of his family, servants, herdsman, and possessions, but he did not lead. We have no record of him attempting to fight back against being captured or lead his family out of danger.
Lot had now seen conviction-driven courage up close. He had had an opportunity to see his lack of leadership. The question is whether he would learn from it.
What happens when leaders won’t lead: Five lessons from the life of Lot
After his rescue, Lot continued living in the city of Sodom. The wickedness in that city grew to the point that two angels of the Lord came and disguised themselves as humans to see what was going on.
Then the two angels came to Sodom in the evening as Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. Lot saw them and rose to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.
Genesis 19:1 LSB
In the ancient world, the city gate was where elders and officials sat. The Bible does not directly tell us whether Lot was either an elder or official, but he did step up and take leadership to protect strangers from the wickedness in his home city.
The problem is, despite taking some level of responsibility for righteousness and leadership, no one followed him. Lot would be faced with conflict and criticism, and his lack of conviction would become painfully clear at the moment he needed it most. We can learn five painful but valuable lessons from the next parts of his story about what happens when a leader won’t lead.
1. Compromise: A conscience without conviction negotiates.
Lot urged the angels to come stay in his house instead of spending the night in the town square for fear of their safety, but the men of the town still surrounded his house with the intent to attack his guests.
But Lot went out to them at the doorway and shut the door behind him, [7] and said, “Please, my brothers, do not act wickedly. [8] Now behold, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please let me bring them out to you, and do to them what is good in your eyes; only do nothing to these men, inasmuch as they have come under the shelter of my roof.”
Genesis 19:6-8 LSB
Lot called the intent of the men “wicked.” He knew what was right and what was wrong. But then his own response is horrifying: he offered his daughters to the mob. He did not lead. He negotiated; he compromised, at the expense of his own daughters. He possessed a conscience but not a conviction based on his walk with God, so he could not stand up against wickedness.
The response of the men of Sodom tells us what Lot’s leadership was worth. The moment he tried to use his conscience and leadership for righteousness, they dismissed him:
“…This fellow came to town as an outsider, and now he’s acting like our judge!”
Genesis 19:9 NLT
A seat at the gate doesn’t make a leader. Being disturbed by evil is not the same as having the conviction to stand against it. Why?
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
2. Lost influence: Our lives speak louder than our words.
The angels whom Lot attempted to protect actually protected him. They rescued him from the mob at his door and told him to get his family out of Sodom before it was destroyed. Lot followed.
And Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were to marry his daughters, and said, “Get up, get out of this place, for Yahweh will destroy the city.” But he appeared to his sons-in-law to be jesting.
Genesis 19:14 LSB
Lot with urgency spoke to his sons in-law, but they did not take him seriously. Why? Because when we have not lived a life of conviction, we have forfeited the influence that could have been ours. His sons-in-law did not listen. Instead, they laughed.
Leadership is not merely about being on stage, up front, or in charge. Our personal life, our walk with God and personal conviction resulting in courage is how influence is developed, through the weight of our life, not the emotional urgency of our words.
Lot had lived in Sodom long enough that when the crisis came, his words carried no weight.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
3. Indecision: When God says ‘go,’ hesitating is resistance.
Now at the breaking of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Get up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city.” [16] But he hesitated. So the men seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for the compassion of Yahweh was upon him; and they brought him out and put him outside the city.
Genesis 19:15-16 LSB
One word describes leaders who lack a walk with God and the conviction that comes with it: Hesitation.
Where Abram took action, Lot hesitated, because Lot lacked the trust developed over a life of faithfulness. This is what Abram had, and why he could lead when Lot could not.
Lot had traveled with Abram all those years, learned to be successful, gotten married, and built a family. But he had missed the heartbeat of what made Abram flourish, which was his belief in, reliance on, and obedience to God.
Destruction in Sodom was certain. Lot’s family was in danger. God had spoken clearly. And yet, Lot lingered.
The angels had to take him by the hand.
After all these years, Lot was still being led.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
4. Risk-aversion: We bargain with God when we don’t trust him.
For most of Lot’s life, following was comfortable. He followed Terah. He followed Abram. He benefited from Abram’s faith, protection, and convictions.
Then in a moment of crisis, God asked Lot to follow him somewhere he did not want to go. God asked Lot to trust him.
Now it happened, as they brought them outside, one said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley; escape to the mountains, lest you be swept away.” [18] But Lot said to them, “Oh no, my lords! [19] Now behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your lovingkindness, which you have shown me by preserving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, lest calamity overtake me and I die; [20] now behold, this town is near enough to flee to, and it is small. Please, let me escape there (is it not small?) that my life may be preserved.”
Genesis 19:17-20 LSB
The man who spent his whole life following suddenly did not want to follow.
Why? Because following someone else’s convictions is easy when they are taking us somewhere we want to go. Eventually, God will lead us somewhere our comfort doesn’t want to go.
That is when borrowed convictions fail. Lot had lived off Abram’s convictions. He absorbed Abram’s morals, but he never learned from Abram how to walk with God for himself. Many people live this way, living off a parent’s faith, a minister’s convictions, or a church’s culture. It happens in the secular world too; many people live off the innovators’ success, the family connection, the inherited money, the reputation associated with our last name, or the school we attended.
It works until we are in the crucible of life—a place no one can live, own, or endure for us. In these places, we must rise to the occasion based on our own personal conviction and summon our own personal courage, something I believe is ultimately impossible in every aspect of life without a relationship with God. Some will succeed in certain areas, but not all. Only God empowers us to handle all of life, even the parts we are not naturally good at.
This moment, this crucible that God is calling us toward, is the mountain.
The mountain frightened Lot. It required him to trust God rather than his circumstances. So, he negotiated a compromise with God instead of building a relationship of trust where he would follow him.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
5. Personal loss: The people who follow us pay the price.
Then his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
Genesis 19:26 LSB
“Remember what happened to Lot’s wife! If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.”
Luke 17:32–33 NLT
The loss of his wife was the beginning of the price Lot paid for being a leader unwilling to lead. She made her own choice, but she was following a husband who left Sodom in compromise. She lacked a partner who inspired her to break free and look forward. In many ways, she did what he was doing in his heart rather than what he was doing with his feet. When a leader begrudgingly does God’s will, they will find that those who follow them look back and lose.
The angels led. Lot hesitated. His wife was lost.
We cannot follow God while clinging to the life God is calling us to leave.
Then comes one of the most ironic verses in Genesis.
Afterward Lot left Zoar because he was afraid of the people there, and he went to live in a cave in the mountains with his two daughters.
Genesis 19:30 NLT
Lot ended up on the mountain anyway.
The place he refused to go by faith, he ended up going by fear. Not to a calling, but to a cave.
What follows (Genesis 19:30–36) is the collapse of his family. His daughters would make painful and destructive choices. The responsibility is their own. But the trajectory is sobering.
Lot began surrounded by Abraham’s faith. He ended isolated in a cave with a shattered family.
We will all face the mountain. The only question is whether we climb it by conviction, or are driven up it by fear.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
The mountain is where God grows us.
The small village Lot asked for was Zoar: small, close, familiar, manageable. Zoar was a smaller walk with God than the one God was offering.
Lot understood morals. He knew right from wrong, and that was good. But his walk with God never grew to the mountain level. He lived with a front seat to Abram’s faith his whole life without learning to walk in it.
Zoar is the culmination of that life: living, but not learning to walk with God.
Many people are satisfied with Zoar. They keep their morals, and they never climb to the mountain. But the mountain of discomfort is where God grows us into people who can fulfill his will.
Conviction produces courage.
Courage allows us to embrace discomfort.
Discomfort produces growth.
Growth prepares us to fulfill God’s will.
We cannot become leaders if we keep choosing Zoar whenever God calls us to the mountain.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God.
Conclusion: When Abraham isn’t standing next to you
Lot stands as a warning to everyone about learning to live by faith in men instead of God. Let’s look at the progression of Lot’s life to learn how leaders end up not leading:
Followed convictions: Lot followed Terah, then Abram.
Borrowed convictions: Lot borrowed Abram’s convictions instead of building his own.
Position without conviction: Lot chose Sodom and still needed rescue.
Compromise: Lot negotiated instead of standing up.
Lost influence: No one took Lot seriously.
Indecision: Lot hesitated. Angels had to lead him out of Sodom.
Risk-aversion: Lot chose the small town of Zoar over the mountain.
Personal loss: Lot lost his wife and lived in a cave with a broken family.
And underneath this entire story is one haunting reality: Lot never really learned to lead.
Lot had learned to follow men. He had not learned to follow God. Without conviction, we will never have the courage to lead.
And without courage, we will keep choosing Zoar when God is calling us to the mountain.
What about you? Are you growing your own convictions? What mountain is God calling you toward? Let’s grow together to be the leaders God is calling us to become, and the world so desperately needs.
📌 This essay was originally published on Deep Spirituality. Read the original here.